you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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