they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
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I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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