So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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