I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
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girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
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I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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