real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
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another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
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If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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