trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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