haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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