i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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