Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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