the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize