I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize