And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
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Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
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Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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