I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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