i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize