HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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