after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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