i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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