Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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