Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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