:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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