Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
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I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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