He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
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How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
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"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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