we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize