mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
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My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
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I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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