Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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