Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize