well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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