Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize