so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
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i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
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Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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