i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize