Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize