Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
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it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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