is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize