I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We are all done wearing pants today
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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