just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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