I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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