All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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