Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize