Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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