This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize