sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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