She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize