how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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