You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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