And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
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Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
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There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
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