i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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