Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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