so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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