I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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