Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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