i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize