Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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